Generational Trauma
Can Trauma be Passed from One Generation to the Next?
Have you ever heard the term generational curse?
What Is Generational Trauma?
Generational trauma, generational curse, or intergenerational trauma are all psychological terms used to help us understand decades and, in some cases, centuries of challenges found within families.
Think about it like this. Your grandfather was an alcoholic that would beat his wife and kids relentlessly. Eventually, your father grew up cold and distant - unable to regulate his emotions or show love. You feel the emotional void of his negligence and turn to substance use to cope with the pain.
While the problem initially started decades earlier, it gets passed down as each generation deals with this trauma in different (but sometimes similar) ways.
Here are a few more examples of generational trauma look like:
● Domestic violence
● Oppression or racism
● Child abuse or neglect
● Refugees
● Sexual abuse
● Emotional dysfunction
● Poverty
While current research states that 50% to 60% of men and women experience trauma in their lifetime, some of our worst habits and toxic behaviours are a direct result of our family tree.
So, why is this the case? How is generational trauma passed down? Stick around. We’ll talk about all of this and how you can confidently decide that these generational curses end with you.
What Causes Generational Trauma?
Oftentimes generational trauma is caused by a lack of understanding about the root problems or an inability to fix them.
There are two distinct ways generational trauma can continue down the family tree:
Denial: Instead of putting in the work to understand why we may act in certain ways or view the world through a specific lens, we choose to deny that we have a problem. As we do so, we sit comfortably in our hurt and pain and continue on these toxic cycles.
Minimisation: While we may be aware of adverse experiences in our family's past, our parents or grandparents may choose to minimise the effects they had. Let's say you attempt to bring up your father's childhood - he may become incredibly defensive and assure you it was never a problem.
This “passing down” of trauma creates a ripple effect. Instead of each ripple getting weaker as it trickles down, in some cases, it can get stronger.
Think back to the example we just discussed. Instead of the substance use and emotional wounds decreasing as time has gone on, you now feel the emotional weight of not only yourself but your father and his father.
How can we choose to end our Generational Trauma?
While there's nothing you can do about the past, you can choose to end the toxic cycles of trauma within your family. The positive side to generational trauma is that while they won’t simply go away on their own, they can be broken.
Address The Trauma
Generational trauma is the elephant in the room. Most families know it's there, but either doesn’t know how to talk about it or would rather choose to bury it. While it’s easy to sit back and let centuries of hurt and pain continue, addressing the trauma head-on is the key to unlocking the shackles holding your family back.
Addressing your generational trauma may look like speaking openly about it with close friends or family members (if they’re willing to listen). It may mean communicating with your children about why certain family members behave the way they do or why you struggle to regulate your own emotions at times.
In addition, addressing your intergenerational trauma may mean seeking help from a mental health professional, which we will discuss in a bit.
Gone are the days you let your generational trauma rule your household. Instead of running from it, fight it head-on.
Educate Yourself
As you address your family's trauma, equip yourself with education. Study up as much as you can on what you’re dealing with.
If your family has been stuck in a cycle of poverty, educate yourself on how to break this cycle and create a legacy of resilience. Knowledge is power.
Bringing up the topic of generational trauma to family members - particularly those in older generations - can be incredibly sensitive and tricky to navigate. Equipping yourself with emotionless statistics and facts can help lessen their defences.
While it’s incredibly easy to get swept up in your emotions as you go through this process, remember that older generations never had the ability to educate themselves on these subjects the way we do. Use this to your advantage.
As you educate yourself, be sure to take time to read up not only on what your generational trauma is but how to overcome it.
A few methods used in generational trauma therapy include:
Narrative Exposure Therapy: This therapy focuses on families with multiple or complex generational trauma. Ideal for individuals who experienced war, cultural trauma or genocide. Clients will be asked to recount their family's experience and learn how to reframe them in a way that disarms the traumas hold over their life.
Intergenerational Treatment Model: This method is primarily used for children and their parents or caregivers. ITM treats the parents' unresolved trauma before moving on to their kids as a way to treat two generations at once.
Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: Using psycho-education and cognitive techniques, this therapy allows individuals to talk freely about their trauma and equips them with coping skills such as relaxation techniques.
The Cycle Stops Here
Generational trauma is a phenomenon that can quite literally ruin an entire family tree for centuries. The longer this trauma is left unresolved, the deeper its roots take hold. Symptoms of generational trauma may be then mistaken for disorders such as depression, anxiety, and substance abuse disorders.
You have the power and the choice to end generational trauma for your children, their children, and their children.
As you walk through this journey, remember: generational trauma is a mountain to overcome. Some days you may feel as though you’ve taken one step forward and two steps back. However, giving yourself grace and patience is vital.
Just keep strong and persistent. Over time you’ll slowly begin to see the pain and trauma fade away as you create a new life for you and those who will come after you.
Sources
https://michaelgquirke.com/recognize-these-intergenerational-trauma-signs-symptoms/