5 Secrets for Raising Strong Confident Girls
Creating Resilient Young Women
Finding out you're going to be a ‘girl mom’ comes with many emotions.
As you dream of matching outfits and ballet lessons, you may realise fairly quickly that it’s so much more than that. You may find yourself with racing thoughts on how to raise your daughter to be whomever it is she wants to be - especially in a society that is likely to tell her otherwise.
Women and girls in society are told what they should look like, how they should dress, and what types of things they should participate in. This leaves young girls particularly vulnerable to peer pressure and conforming to activities that directly go against their authentic selves.
These pressures can lead to low self-confidence, poor self-image, and an all-around weak sense of who they truly are.
So, what's the secret to raising powerful daughters? Let’s talk about a few ways as parents we can set our girls up to be the strong, confident young women they are always meant to be.
What Does Having a ‘Strong Daughter’ Really Mean?
Let’s make something incredibly clear: having a strong daughter doesn’t mean having a ‘bad’ daughter. I’m not talking about those headstrong (and bratty) kids that steamroll over everyone in an attempt to ‘be the boss’.
Strong daughters grow into adolescence feeling secure about who they are. These girls are able to think critically about the world and aren’t easily swayed by other people's opinions. Even if their friends all want to engage in something, strong daughters have the courage and ability to say no without guilt.
While strong daughters aren’t immune to bouts of insecurity - they aren’t crippled by these feelings either. Rather, strong girls have the skills within them to work through feeling this way.
Powerful, confident girls grow up feeling good about themselves and walk through life with an attitude that says, “I can, and I will.”
5 Secrets for Raising Strong Daughters
So, what’s the secret formula for raising your daughter up to be the mighty young woman she was always destined to be?
Encourage Passions
Does your daughter find joy tinkering with the mechanics of a Lego set? Does she beam with pride as she paints a new masterpiece for the fridge?
Giving your daughter the encouragement to give her passions her full attention will help her learn problem-solving skills and attribute her inner self-image to something other than looks. In addition, when we nurture the things our kids are passionate about, it boosts their self-confidence as they learn to overcome challenges and refine their skills.
Let Her Make Choices
Whenever possible, allow your daughter to make choices about her life. Kids are far more likely to learn from their own natural consequences rather than from us simply telling them ‘no’.
This can look as simple as letting your daughter pick out her own outfits (keeping them appropriate) or as big as allowing her a voice in choosing her after-school activities.
Allowing her to try and fail gives her the ability to explore what things she enjoys and come to terms with what things didn’t work out for her.
This will raise her to trust her inner self and her intuition, knowing she's capable of making good choices.
Let Her Solve Problems
As parents, we often rush to our children's side as soon as they have an issue. While this is entirely done out of love, it’s often not helping children grow into the capable kids they can be.
Let your daughter work through problems on her own, but step in when necessary. When we take over, our girls don’t develop the proper coping skills to deal with obstacles, hindering them as they get older.
As children work through solving problems on their own, they learn just how capable they are at problem-solving, empowering them with the confidence they’ll need for bigger obstacles later in life.
Love Her Unconditionally
You’re her parent, of course, you love her! But hear me out: love her unconditionally. Not only this, but let her often know that you love her for exactly who she is, the good and the bad.
This means showing your daughter she's worthy not for what she looks like, how much she weighs, or what decisions she makes. Let her know there’s nothing that could influence your love for her.
Children that grow up in households where parents are empathetic and responsive to their needs, as well as those that allow kids to fully embrace who they are, produce kids with secure attachment styles. This type of attachment style means your daughter will grow up confident and able to form healthy, responsible relationships with others as well as make better choices empowering her in every aspect of her life.
Talk To Her About Societies Messages
Little girls are constantly bombarded with messages about who they should be. Even if you don’t allow your daughter to scroll social media, the images of women portrayed in television, movies, and advertisements are enough to make any young woman question if they meet society's beauty standards.
Talk with your daughter as early as possible about the difference between eating healthy and being skinny, the art of nourishing your body with whole foods, and the incredible amount of photoshop that goes into those giant ads for Victoria's Secret.
In addition, keep open communication about sex and relationships. So often, young girls grow up insecure about themselves and try to use affection from boys to fill this hole. As your daughter gets older, speak to her about sex vs. a loving, healthy relationship. She may be too embarrassed to come to you with any questions she may have, so it’s up to you to initiate this conversation.
Final Thoughts
Raising a strong daughter is a double-edged sword.
While you desire to see your child grow into a powerful young woman, it is obvious she’ll face many obstacles in society that will try to silence her. This is why encouraging activities that foster her independence and self-esteem, allowing her to make her own choices, and keeping communication flowing will help shape and mould her into the strong girl she’s destined to become.
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