Taking control of your own narrative
It often appears as if life bombards us with challenge after challenge, each one substantially more overwhelming than the next. While the ‘take it as it comes’ attitude might wear on for a fistful of tries, it isn’t long before the stretches exhaust this inner monologue.
In fact, it isn't always top-of-the-line stressors that sway us; sometimes, even the seemingly smallest of changes affect us in ways that incapacitate us more than we'd like to admit. Wouldn't you like to hear that there's a way around that? A ‘superpower’ of sorts that would give you the ability to rise back stronger from life’s unending antics?
Resilience: what is it?
You might have heard this term thrown around in ways that strip it of its essence. Some might use it interchangeably with patience, some with stubbornness, some with perseverance, and yet others with strength. But you know what? Resilience is all of that, but even more.
In the trajectory of psychology, resilience refers to the mental strength that aids you in facing life’s taxes without being debilitated. Resilience means having durability, with the knowledge that the hardship at hand isn’t absolute and there is room to grow across it, and on the other side of it.
Evaluating Control and Changing Thought patterns.
Control is a big part of what resilience echoes. The pretence that you can control everything around you is just that—a pretence. Instead, developing a more reality-based perspective about what is within our control, and what is larger, is just really the first step in brewing resilience. For instance, consider the following dimensions the next time you’re in a situation that stirs you:
Are you able to change these circumstances? Be honest with yourself, if yes, you have primary control over the situation. You are in charge of maneuvering how things will eventually turn out, and while this is more than desirable, it’s not always possible.
The second scenario is you being in a situation that is out of your hands. This might make you feel helpless, given that the bigger picture isn’t yours to change. But there is still something you have a degree of control over: your take on the situation. Think of how a simple shift in perspective can significantly diminish the distress you might be experiencing.
Consider the current changes you’re experiencing as you navigate a world shaped by the contours of a pandemic. While tough, you must have dealt with this change through the acceptance that the scenario was not within your grip. But your own narrative was yours to keep, and in dealing with this unprecedented and frankly, unasked for change, you developed a sort of resilience that you might’ve never thought yourself capable of.
Self-care and resilience: what’s the connection?
Acceptance is quite a vital part of resilience, and surrendering to the reality that things are rarely in our utter control can save us from a lot of unchecked anguish. Evaluating the control that we have over our life’s strings can help us relocate our focus to better and more attainable things, like integrating self-care strategies that are going to render the process of acceptance more bearable, if not easier.
There’s plenty of self-care that you can take up to build your resilience. Trying new things is a wonderful way to learn and simultaneously train yourself to be better at responding to change. In a Covid-19 tainted world, you might have tried to distract yourself from the overload of distress seemingly coming from all directions; but dipping your toes in all at once in different types of water isn’t always the best idea. A better way to approach self-care with the recipe for resilience in mind is to practice small and reasonable acts of self-service.
Ring in your creativity: Creativity is ubiquitous enough to hold the potential for change in one of its folds. Allowing yourself to be creative might inspire you to pursue things that are different from the climate you're comfortable in—cue change.
Practice gratitude more often than not: While we have a general tendency to believe that gratitude benefits those around us, gratitude is more of a self-service than anything else. Appreciating your blessings is a dual-ended road that leads to both resilience and acceptance.
Understand and order your priorities: Being aware of the things that hold more value to us makes taking decisions and remaining steadfast more meaningful and far less complicated. In the language of resilience, knowing your priorities is going to make enduring the transformation more purposeful.
Learn to be present: Lastly, be mindful of the present moment. Being well-aware of your situation can help you evaluate your control in it as well as inspire resilience within yourself. Did you know that mindfulness breeds resilience? Well, now you do, and do with that what you will.
